It’s been well over a month since I’ve written anything.
These last four months in California have taught me so much about myself.
Something that I have learned recently is that I continue to ask myself
what should I do?
what am I supposed to do?
I firmly believe that we live in a culture that constantly tells us that we have to be something that we don’t have to be in order to happy or reach success.
I am extremely guilty when it comes to this topic.
We say- be yourself and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.
But do we really?
Over the last four years I went to a small Christian university that captivated my fellow student body and I in a bubble. And I have come to the conclusion that I actually really miss that bubble.
I miss knowing that there are many other peers of mine experiencing the same struggles that I am that are open to talk about it and listen.
I miss knowing that I have many leaders including faculty and staff, church members, spiritual life members, and friends that are older than me who were only moments away from me to help guide and direct me on the right path.
However, as much as I want it to be, the bubble isn’t the real world.
I have come to learn that the only way that other young Christians can grow and succeed in life that have experienced, or are experiencing the same things as myself is to hang on tight to Jesus.
How do you do that?
Find their new church home, devote yourself to prayer, and really stick to the Word. Having a solid life group also is extremely important.
Personally, I thought I knew where I wanted to be in life after college and my internship but now I think that the Lord has other plans for me.
I let the thoughts of what I should be doing or who I should be completely consume me, and started finding value in areas of my life that are actually meaningless compared to what I actually deserve.
I had a good conversation with a friend and explained prior to what I felt was going on, and how I felt so confused and lost about where my life was going.
She asked me if I had prayed about it.
At point my prayer life honestly sucked.
I was not holding myself accountable, and just fell off the grid with my prayer life.
I excluded God from this area of my life even though it wasn’t intentional.
So as much as I wanted to ignore her question, I pondered it and realized that praying was exactly what I needed to do and ask for clarity.
Later that day God opened my eyes and asked me the simple question
Why are you settling?
That simple question opened my eyes from the last month where I felt totally lost and misunderstood.
I let the thoughts of who I should be, where I should be doing, and where I should be going take over my life.
And it really hurt me.
Although, I serve a God who loves me so much that He never fails to remind me of my worth and what I deserve.
He tells me that He’s been there for me since the very start, and will be my biggest cheerleader every step of the way even when I feel like I have to fight these battles on my own.
He reminds me that His plans are far above my own and He has much more amazing plans for me than I can ever make for myself in a lifetime.
He reminds me that I don’t have to take my problems into my own hands alone, and I don’t have to settle for any kind of temporary satisfaction to forget about the present momentarily because He can take care of everything right now.
If you’re struggling to figure out what you’re doing wrong, or why your plans aren’t following through the way that you planned ask God why.
It’s okay to ask why when you don’t have all the answers yourself.
He will show you the way.
He’s already brought me so far, and I know He isn’t finished with me yet.
Don’t give up.
Don’t lose hope.
You got this because He’s had you since the very beginning.