I have about three weeks until I graduate from college.
This is nuts.
If your curious and want to peek into the crazy whirlwind mind of mine you may need to hold on tight with all of the exams, assignments, and group projects trying to knock you over left and right. However, I did get my senior speech capstone out of the way first semester so kudos for Brooke! As of now the only things that have been circling my mind are trying to get as many assignments done ahead time and searching for jobs anywhere and everything excluding back home.
I’m not too sure why but I have always been the type of person who is always on the go. I always want to try something new and exciting- even if it does stress me out a little while. Someone did tell me not that long ago though, if your dreams don’t scare you a little then they’re not big enough. I sometimes have trouble of saying “no” and because I love the people around me so much, maybe I do get a little over committed. At least I’m not under committed- right?
Anyways, after taking some time this year to really explore who I am as a person I have finally come to the conclusion about who I want to be and where I want to be in life. Although it didn’t happen over night. I took a huge break this year from quite a few extra curriculars, work, and other involvements. I started becoming more intentional with the supportive friend groups that do surround me and invest in me. I recognized the importance of embracing the life that God has called me to live and why I am the way that he created me to be.
When I first entered college I was actually really intimated because I saw so many people just like me. I think that sometimes this makes most people feel more comfortable, but for me I felt threatened in a way. I worked so hard in high school to become “popular”, a good athlete, a strong student leader, and just to become known with a sense of identity.
And then I had to start all over again.
I was excited at first but then I realized I wasn’t the only one who had the bubbly personality, who had a lot of friends, who was good at tennis, and who could lead a praise band. I guess I had finally experienced the “small fish in a big pond” example that everyone gets when they go to a new school, job, etc. I remember at my first day of college tennis practice I was asked to play one of my teammates from Ecuador and after our set I felt like I didn’t even know how to hold my racket anymore. I eventually came to the point where I felt that I shouldn’t even try anymore because other people were either just as strong or better than me- not just at athletics.
I eventually came to a point and had to reevaluate who I was. I had let this thought control my mind so much that I was starting to become a person who I wasn’t- worried, intimated, and depressed.
That’s not who I am.
He wanted me to grow. Like any situation there were a few bad seeds that were sown into my life that had quite a large impact on this.
I had to learn how to cut off those who were not benefitting my life and how to stay close to the ones that help me to where I want to be.
As sad as it is to say, there are some people out there who want to watch you fail- I can testify to that. Some of them may even be closer than you think. This may be because those people have been hurt in the past and they don’t want to see anyone else happy, or they want to see other people also feel their hurt. We’re all given situations similar to this. It’s up to you to decide how you are going to react to the situations that you are given in life and how to make an impact through it.
How are you going to stay true to yourself?
I had to dive back into the Word and bring back the truth that Jesus has over my life. I had to realize that my grades, my involvements, and my job titles do not reign over my life. I had to remember that satisfying these desires will not ever fulfill me the way that Jesus will. He gives us opportunities like these to grow and seek His will through Him. It’s difficult to not get distracted and then lost in the branches and weeds in the forest of life, but once we get back on the right track and see that glimpse of the light its not so bad after all.